tears in 2012

When folks started warning that this year was gonna be brutal, I figured they were being a little melodramatic.  I saw the signs: the GOP presidential race was heating up, the war on women shifted into high gear, the economy started looking up a bit.

I think it was the economy getting better that really springboarded a lot of people into action.  It carries a ring of ‘Obama got something right’ to it, and there’s no way the GOPers are going to let that fly in an election year.  And now, the Grand Old Party (and friends) has shifted from far-right to bizarro-right (outright asking brown people for papers, eliminating “ethnic studies”, asking Puerto Ricans to JUST SPEAK ENGLISH, ALREADY; and still saying the n-word [or the new substitute: ninja] whenever they can bring it into the conversation.)

I think I’ve become too old and jaded.  34 has done something to me.  Or rather – my 34th year.

I grew up pretty privileged.  Didn’t have it all by any means, but never worried about basics, never had to share a room, always felt safe…shoot – I didn’t even understand that the rules of life [as it is – not how it should be] applied to me.  I don’t even know if I truly know that now.  I’m still pretty doggone blessed.  But part of being a grown-up has been learning about how the real world works.  And the real world – the one my parents shielded me from, but tried from time-to-time to show me glimpses of – is no walk in the park.  Because I didn’t grow up seeing it like that, I still expect the best from people.  I still am a little surprised when people become their worst selves.

So seeing the talking heads and presidential candidates on the “Right” defend Rush Limbaugh (again), seeing them vilify the President for policies that they were in favor of 8 years ago, seeing them spout unadulterated foolishness about poor people, gays, people of color, and women – it brings my spirits low.  I don’t have a lot of hope about our situation.

It seems that the closer we get to the Brown Apocalypse [the moment when white people are no longer the majority in this country], the more desperate and overt white people [in general] become.  It’s trickling down into some day-to-day interactions with people.  I see the fear when some of these folks ponder their retirement years with The Brown Menace.

And then some vigilante had to go kill a child.

It’s too much.

I’ve been following Trayvon’s story for two weeks, and when I first read about it I was outraged.  Now I’m incredulous.  I know more about it and still I see no sense in it.  Because there is none.

This morning I was listening to Blacking It Up from yesterday, and they played the 911 calls in the upfront.  I ended up crying for about five minutes before I could put in my contacts.  And then some more in the shower.  When will it end?  When will people see?

I’ve seen a lot of great writing about this – different perspectives – different ideas – different experiences.  So here are some other places you should look for facts and commentary about the whole Trayvon Martin travesty. May his killer come to justice and his death bring positive change.

Things You Should Know – Think Progress
Being Good is Never Good Enough – Black Snob
Letter to an Unborn Son – Urban Cusp
Voices Roundup – Racialicious
Framing the Story – Shakesville
It Wasn’t the Hoodie that Made Him ‘Suspicious’ – Global Grind
Gun Laws and How Zimmerman Should Thank the NRA – Mother Jones
Last Words, Police Mishandling, and a Slur? – ABC News

Thanks for reading.  Spread the word.