grammy’s: the ok music awards

grammyTonight is the night for the biggest music award…or at least, they’re trying to hold on to that reputation.  Grammy’s still mean a lot, bu the AMAs, WMAs, MTV moonmen, and BET Awards are edging them out in relevance.  By far, the best music awards show last year was the BET awards.  And I can already see the Grammy;s this year are gonna be a lil weak.  So I’ll pop the occasional edamame, and comment as I am wont to do.

U2 starts the show with a song I’ve never heard, perhaps entitled Big Kiss?  Not a bad song.  The lyrics are flashed across the big screen behind Bono, so you can understand what he’s singing.  Some of them seem to be hallucinogenic-inspired, but that’s not necessarily surprising.  And watching Bono…dance…is super-entertaining.  Good performance, even if the song wasn’t familiar to me.

jhudWhitney instroduces the first award – Best R&B Album – in a very nice dress, but a kind of ugly wig.  Only one woman was nominated, and she won: Jennifer Hudson!  It’s her year.  Her dress was kind of weird.  Sculpted, white, gray and black.  This was big for her, it’s been a rough year, but I know she’s got big things still to come.

Dwayne “The Rock” is my man and all, but he’s no MC.  [Er.  Dave Grohl and Paul McCartney? Ok.]

JT, Boyz II Men, and Keith Urban are supposed to be doing a tribute with/to Al Green, and uh, it’s just not really working.  The best part is probably is Keith Urban on the guitar.  Al doesn’t seem to be into it until closer to the end when he steps out and does a high note – which Justin feels ill-advisedly compelled to imitate.  Let’s Stay Together doesn’t resonate with this audience, apparently, and all I can think of is how bad this is compared to the BET awards last year. [really bad]

Coldplay is still the same. This is Chris Martin and Jay-Z doing Lost.  Better than usual.  But then it’s back to the usual: Viva La Vida.

Carrie Underwood’s up next with Last Name.  It’s a little rock-ed up, and I like it.  A lot.  And I’m noticing a trend with the mic’s.  Chris Martin had a personalized mic with different colors, Carrie’s is covered in glitter – cool.  I’ll keep an eye on them.  eanwhile, Carrie is belting like she’s still trying to please Simon – in all the right ways.  She stuck the landing – this was a crowd pleaser!

Leann Rimes and Sheryl Crow match.  It’s kinda cute.  But Leann’s hair is really flat.  Oh well, Sugarland wins for Stay, which is a nice song.  And another woman wins – I like it.

Duffy and Al Green present – now there’s a pair up I think would’ve been cool.  And it turns out they do!  Although Al sounds way more awesome by himself.  Woo!  Coldplay wins Song of the Year for Viva La Vida. I stick out my tongue at this.

Kid Rock begins his song Amen with some really disturbing commentary on the current situation of the world.  This is no Bawitdaba.  The phrase “got me feeling guilty for being white” makes the song a whole ‘nother level of interesting.  Then the song ends and segues into a couple phrases of All Summer Long [which I’ve not made any secret about hating].  And we’re into Rock n Roll Jesus to close the set.  Eh.

Since I’m watching on a delay, I get to fast-forward through commercials now, so once again THANK YOU DVR!

And now – the JoBros break up club: Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift singing Fifteen together.  Miley’s sparkly jacket is just a little bit heinous, and her affect is just a little bit hilarious.  Taylor looks like a pro and Miley looks like an amateur.  But maybe it’s just a difference in age.

They present Best Pop Collaboration and I can’t believe No Air is even still eligible.  It’s definitely more popular than Rich Woman by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.  But they win, and only Robert speaks.  Huh.

Jennifer Hudson sings You Pulled Me Through with great control, and looks exceptionally put together.  Great hair, and a black sequined dress that fits just right (until the end of th song when the one shoulder comes down but looks good anyway).  I couldn’t tell if she was referring to God or her fans in the song, but she closes pointing to the viewer…inspirational either way.

Jason Mraz is so quirky with his suit and sneakers.

I’ve just been personally insulted by the Grammys.  Stevie Wonder is guesting on a JoBros performance – opening with a vocoder seuence, and then singing sporadically when one of these children yells his name.  Now they’re going to back him up on Superstition.  This should not be happening!  I don’t believe it.  This isn’t real life.  Maybe I sound irrational, but this is weirding me out.  ::shudder:: it’s over.  good.

kperryBlink 182 together again?  I missed these guys!  Yay.  Presenting Best Rock Album to -surprise,surprise- Coldplay.  Blah.

Whee! Colin Ferguson has scarred the ears of Kate Beckinsale’s child.  He’s used to late-night, I suppose.  His intro of Katy Perry was ok.  Her performance of I Kissed a Girl is…ok.  I’d actually like to see Jill Sobule come out and hear some kind of mix of the two songs.  Or really, just hear Jill Sobule’s song.  But at least the dress she came in is really nice.

adeleKanye’s hair is hitting old heights – 80s heights actually.  Estelle does this song so awesomely, I really like American Boy.  Her dress is a little spacey – it kind of makes her look hippy when she’s not.  They present Best New Artist to Adele.  I’m surprised she beat Duffy.  But she does have a really good voice.  Adele’s hair is really weird, but her dress is GREAT.  Freakin’ awesome, I love it.  Black, classic, great lines.

And now I’m listening to the Grammy announcer and she’s talking about an unprecedented “hip-hop summit” with TI, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, and Kanye.  Uh.  What?  Does she just mean they’ll perform Swagga Like Us?  I thought a summit was more like a discussion panel or something.  I’m excited, cuz I freakin’ love that song, and I dance around in my house when I turn it on and crank up the volume, but – a summit?

Kenny Chesney is America’s biggest ticket seller.  Wow.  The only time I ever hear his music is on these award shows.  This song (Better as a Memory) doesn’t suck, though.

miaSean Combs, Natalie Cole, Herbie Hancock? Interesting pair-up for presenting Record of the Year to Alison Krauss and Robert Plant’s Please Read the Letter.  Who is voting for this stuff???  MIA shoulda won that.  How hot is that dress?

Queen La notes Dean Martin’s Lifetime Achievement Award.   And now – the new Rat Pack.  I know that’s what Kanye wants to be, too.  Mom-to-be MIA intros and Jigga actually looks like an executive.  MIA wipes the dirt from his shoulder and bops out in a funky mini-maternadress.  Weezy hits his rhymes, but TI holds the swagga.

Apparently, MIA was due *today* so.  So.  That baby’s comin’ soon.  And has a freakin’ cool mom.

Sir Paul and Dave Grohl do I Saw Her Standing There.  I wondered how this would sound.  It sounds like the Beatles.

Jack Black is himself.  He intros Charlie Hayden, who in turn presents the Lifetime Achievment to Hank Jones.  They present Best Male Pop Vocal to John Mayer for Say.  Good song.  Bad jacket.  Shiny, strange.

Then the idiot Jay Mohr and the lovely LL intro Adele and Sugarland.  Stay. [Way better than the countrification of Irreplaceable]  Jennifer Nettles definitely gets into the song, and starts this weird, floopy-looking swaying. [Perhaps “floopy-looking” is unclear, but should you have the opportunity to watch a clip, you’ll see this was the only appropriate word.]  The collab on Chasing Pavements and it’s nice.  Well done.

Gwyneth intros Radiohead and the UNC Trojan Marching Band: 15 Step.  I like this.  The lead singer seems like he might be a lil bit..special.  But I like this.  UNC’s the rockin-est band, for reals, with this performance.  And you know all the guys on the drumline are freakin’ out like they’re real rock stars.

Samuel L Jackson, and his signature loud voice, intro Justin and TI performing Dead and Gone.  Some doofy reviewer at RollingStone said that Paper Trail was just a party cd and nothing big.  So with every smooth flow that comes from TI and this album I say – y’all people don’t know what you’re talking about.  The performance is great, but there’s something about southern rap that I just don’t feel like you can really appreciate unless you’re IN the south, in your car, riding with the music ALL the way up.  It’s the king, partner.

The Grammy Yes We Can speech really sucks.  The Grammy museum looks cool, though.  And now they’re petitioning a cabinet position for Secretary of Arts?  OK.

Smokey presents the Lifetime Achievement to the Four Tops.  Smokey and the last extant Top -Duke Fakir- join Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo team up for a tribute Reach Out (I’ll Be There), Standing in the Shadows of Love, I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch).  Smokey’s voice is still there and still phenomenal.  Ne-Yo and Jamie are definitely better in their own niches.  Performance overall is fairly well choreographed but, just ok.

I can’t stand Josh Groban, but Neil Diamond makes me nostalgic.  My dad used to play him when I was a kid.  I love that he’s still got his own swagger.  He’s 68.  Go boy.

BB and John Mayer toast those that passed last year, and it was ok.

Weezy and Robin Thicke’s tribute for the N.O. is nice.  It’s Weezy’s world, y’all.  We just live here.  The song is hot. HOT.

Two hats and glasses present Best Rap Album – T-Pain and Will.I.Am.  Wayne pulls out a home run from a year of ultimate highs.  I’d love to have seen TI win, but, like I said: It’s Weezy’s world.

Zooey Deschanel intros Robert Plant and Alison Krauss performing Rich Woman and Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On).  I like Zooey, loved her in Elf.  But this music isn’t my style, and I don’t really have anything to say about it, other than at least there’s some harmony – so that’s nice.

Whee!  Green Day’s working on an album: ’21st Century Breakdown’.  Producer of the Year: Rick Rubin (Neil Diamond, Weezer, Metallica, Jakob Dylan).  And Album of the Year goes to ‘Raising Sand’ – Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.  Finally, she gets to talk.  But uh, this is kinda crazy.

Stevie closes the show.  A woman talks over him.  Credits roll.  A ‘Without a Trace’ commercial cuts him off.  I’m tired of folks trotting Stevie out whenever they want to show how much they appreciate ‘good’ music – and how they’re in touch with…whatever.

Overall, the awards were -wait for it- OK.  I’m looking forward to the BET Awards this year.  Except that TI is gonna be in jail…sad.