nothing but the ice

I’ve been mulling over a lot in the last few weeks.  Life is happening, and I’m still kickin’, but I’m battling some severe apathy right now.  Sometimes it gets like that, and I’m not sure if it’s fatigue-related or what, but here I am.

Right now, I’m thinking about how teeth-grittingly peeved I was when I read this.  Commentary from here to there echoed many of my thoughts, and I just wanted to watch dancing shows and not think about it.  (And of course, this means I have the joy of knowing that Susie‘s gone, even though I kinda started to feel sorry for her at the end.  Eh.  I did not like her.  Her dancing was all over the place.)

My point?  I just knew R. Kelly was finally going to jail.  He was on freaking video, y’all.  I didn’t watch the vid, but a friend of mine sent me the stills back whenever they first broke [forgetting that I in NO way wanted to see them].  I’m a believer in the idea of innocent until proven guilty.  But when the defense says to me – “who you gonna believe? Us or your lying eyes?”  I choose my eyes.

Video is a powerful exhibit.  I thought it’d be enough.  I should’ve known better.

When you come out and call yourself something like the Pied Piper, I start thinking that you’re just laughing about getting away with murder child rape.  The story of the Pied Piper is one about how a grown man takes advantage of selfish/ignorant parents and lures children into a situation they think is wonderful, but in reality removes them from their homes and families forever.  Tell me again how that’s not making a mockery of this situation?

Those that have the gall to come up with some victim-blaming excuses are inexcusable, in my book.  This girl was thirteen (13!) at the time the video was shot.  Over and over, though, it comes down to the woman’s responsibility to shut a man down for any type of sexual abuse.

It makes me tired.

And I wasn’t looking for much.
Just. ice.

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makes me wanna holler (throw up my hands)

In reading the threepart series on skeevy oldheads running behind young girls, I found myself confronting some of the incidents of my own early teenhood.  There were several times old dudes [at least in their twenties, if not older] made inappropriate comments to me [when I was 14/15 years old].  I became used to a coping mechanism that is very common – refraining from making a big deal or being adamant against this treatment in order to keep from making the offender angry [and possibly more aggressive].

As I got older, different moments of uncomfortable happened…certain men at church wanted hugs every time they saw me [even though we didn’t really know each other that well (or even at all, really)], a guy visiting the house made comments about my bedroom that kinda gave me the willies…And then I got my first job, and looking back, I’ve realized that I was sexually harassed by people I considered to be my friends.  People I’d still consider ‘friends’ … life is stickier than you might think sometimes.  [Maybe it’s unthinkable for some for me to even consider still being friends with people who made inappropriate comments around me.  But I can’t write it off completely, as I don’t believe they had a real intention of hurting me or necessarily making me feel uncomfortable…(though even as I type that, I know that they had to know how uncomfortable I was with some of those comments.)  Perhaps it’s part of my own dysfunction for even still being interested in being friends with those guys. whatever – this is not my point.]

Talking about old dudes with young girls, someone provided a link to an article that I at first thought wasn’t real:

 When Alison Garcia, 16, announced that she was leaving home to be with her 36-year-old lover, her parents could have been forgiven for hitting the roof.  Instead, Sheila and Paul Garcia did something most other parents would find unthinkable.
Last month, they invited divorced double-glazing fitter and father-of-one Craig Wright into their home, where he now shares a bedroom with their daughter.
According to 51-year-old Sheila, of Northfleet, Kent, who runs a yachting business with her 56-year-old husband, they had no choice in the matter.

Yeah.  A real article.  A real family in England.  The article goes on and on.  Sounds like the 16-yr-old daughter is running the family ~ Continue reading

Sydney White: What makes a ‘Good’ Woman?

Among other things, I watched Sydney White last night. I happen to love Amanda Bynes and had been pleasantly surprised by She’s the Man last fall, so I was totally ready for this one. A Snow White story with a twist – basically, Sydney White and the 7 dorks. Cute premise. Amanda did her part and it was a cute movie.

I watched the deleted scenes, and there was this annoying guy [the director] talking in between each of the scenes. That was enough to rankle a bit, but then I accidentally listened to some of what he was saying. He was talking about Sydney’s character development and how he wanted to make her accessible/friendly/a heroine/’one of the guys’. As he continued, it was clear that he was saying that tomboys and girls that hang out with guys or do stereotypically ‘guy’ things, are “cool” and “smart”. Girls that wear dresses and pink and want to be in sororities are, by contrast, not.

Then I started paying attention to the rest of what he was saying – basically, that in order for a girl/woman to gain his respect, she must take on the stereotypic attributes of a guy. And these attributes will still be “boyish”, though she exhibits them. Because “girlish” things are inconsequential/stupid. Continue reading