BET Awards ’11: This Time Mary can Sing!

I am SO happy Mary J took singing lessons, or whatever she did to be able to perform live.  The first time I saw her singing well on stage was about…. 4 yrs ago now?  Y’all remember how she used to be: pure studio artist.  Now she’s singing with Anita Baker – who has always been the real deal.  Her voice is still like butter.  I love Sweet Love. (“With all my heart I love you baby..”)  Anyway, Mary did a lovely opening, and she looks good.  An all-white, skin-tight catsuit with not a hint of anything out of place – 40 is SO the new 30.

Kevin Hart being the host seems apropos of nothing to me, since I’m not a fan and I have no idea if he’s even doing anything right now.  I must say though that his entrance to ‘6 Foot, 7 Foot’ with a group of child steppers is the most impressive things I’ve ever seen him do.  He kept up with those awesome kids.  (He was also about 6inches taller than them…)  He’s right about Ne-Yo though, he needs to leave the hat on.  Hart hit Busta, Jamie, and Puff in all the right places.

Taraji presents Best Male R&B Artist to Chris Brown.  That remake of MJ’s Human Nature straight up sucks.  I like some of his music, but he’s about to go in the R. Kelly stack of musicians that I cannot financially support do to poor life choices.

PS – note to ALL tv shows: I don’t care about what people are live-tweeting.  I don’t Twitter.  I don’t care about what people are saying on FB unless they’re my own friends. (sometimes, not even then)  But if I’m watching your show, I don’t need internet updates.  wtf?

Wait. WHAT?!? “Reed Between the Lines” with Tracee Ellis Ross and Malcolm Jamal Warner looks like it could actually be good.  Like a “Cosby Show” for the 21st c.  I only worry because it’s on BET.  This is the kind of show that should be on network tv. Continue reading

minor Oscar commentary

good dress

good dress

um.  Maybe I’ve just not paid attention all these years, but what is up with the black ghetto in the Oscar audience?

All the black people in the audience [except Morgan Freeman] are either in the back or on the side.

And how come every time a black person wins, the camera pans to the other [6?] black people in the audience?

I don’t wanna give the impression the awards completely suck, though.  Neil Patrick Harris opened the show with a great Broadway number reminiscent of a show from the 40s or 50s.  The stage is beautifully decorated and looks lovely.  And other things I liked?

Up, winning for best animated film and best score

good dress

– the dresses this year.  I think they’ve all outdone themselves this year – never have I seen so many beuatiful dresses at the Oscars.  They almost always have a bunch of awful dresses and only 5 good ones.  This year it’s good one after good one after good one after good one.  Although it does seem that there are a lot of stairs for the ladies this year.

Star Trek, winning for best make up

– the ‘street’ danced interpretation of the nominated musical scores – maybe the best performance I’ve ever seen at the Oscars.

– seeing Bradley Cooper.  I have a really big crush on him.  but not with his hair slicked back.

– the fact that they played Georgia On My Mind when Tyler Perry came out

great dress

A few things I didn’t?

– the sappy turn that the lead actor/actress introduction of nominations has taken in the last few years.

– Kate Winslet’s gown…thing…

– Molly Ringwald’s entire look(!)

IS this a dress?

People’s Choice 2010: All Hail the Queen

La held it down for the opening of the show – her dress was awesome and perfect for her.  Great choice for host.

So…these are the best awards in my mind – cuz they give the awards to the people I would vote for.

Talk Show: Ellen

Movie Comedy: The Proposal

R&B Artist: Mariah [wearing a dess she could barely walk in – cuz she probably thought Bey would win, like I did.  Where was Kanye?]  BTW – there were only women nominated for this one – what’s that about?

Looks like walking is a difficult thing to do on this show – Kate Walsh had a rough time going down that slanted walkway.  I can’t really blame her though – those heels are high.

Comedic TV Actor: Steve Carell [I was torn between him and NPH]

Comedic TV Actress: Allyson Hannigan

Here I’ll take a moment to discuss the new Robin Hood movie coming out.  um…really?  Hasn’t this been done ad infinitum?  It doesn’t look like anything new, either.  Supremo boring is what I got from that trailer.  I didn’t see Prince of Thieves and I won’t see this one.

Fave TV Comedy: The Big Bang Theory.  Srsly?  Ok.

But the 20th season of Survivor in 10years, that’s a feat.  I think I might watch this season.

Mary J has been on a lot of shows lately, performing this same song: I Am.  It’s starting to come across as desperate – at least to me.

Country Artist: Carrie Underwood.  This is probably one of the first times that I’m not completely thrilled with her dress.  There were dudes and ladies in this category…so I’m glad she won.

TV Drama Actor: Hugh Laurie.  Boo.  Corrollary – Fave TV Drama: House.  Boo.

Wow.  Clash of the Titans also looks like something I’ll skip.  0/2 on the movies.

Queen La’s white dress is awesome, too.

wish I had pics of her dresses

Know what?  I don’t think G.Lo is funny anymore.  Too many nasty jokes.  And offensive.  But it is telling that the 5 women nominated are all white.  When will we get some serious leading ladies of color?

Fave Movie Actress: Sandra Bullock.  I do like her.  A lot.  So I’m glad.

Fave Action Star:  Hugh ‘Wolverine’ Jackman!  Yeah!  He really is hot.  And an awesome Wolverine.

Loved Queen’s piece with Edward *barf* Cullen.  She is funny and I love her.

Fave indie Film: Inglourious Basterds

Breakout Movie Actor: the requisite Taylor Lautner.  He is a hot boy.  Even if he’s not quite legal.

But I don’t get the Miss People’s Choice.  What is that?

Fave male artist [WTF? Who came up with these categories??? Eminem, Tim McGraw, John Mayer, Keith Urban and Jason Mraz?]:  Keith Urban.  Good for you, fella.

Cobra Starship and Nicole Scherzinger…instead of Ms. Waldorf?  Nicole can probably handle the live performance better, but BlairLeighton Meester is still trying to get her music taken seriously…I wonder what’s up.

Fave Web Celeb?  Er.  Ashton Kutcher?  This should’ve hands down been Andy Samberg.  Even ff this IS a stupid category.

***Random Thought:  Jennifer Garner should totally help end Heroes.  She’s been with him ever since Felicity.****

Fave New – TV Drama: Vampire Diaries.  Eh.  TV Comedy: Glee!  WOOOOOO!  But this is really weird.  What’s with the pizzas?  It’s also very disconcerting to see that one guy standing up.

LL is definitely looking excellent.  He looks like he hasn’t aged since the 80s.  Except that he’s more ripped.  HOT!

Fave Female Artist: Taylor Swift.  Surprise surprise.  She’s wearing a cute dress but it almost looks too big.  And I kinda feel like her eyes are tiny.  But I love her music.  It’s fun!

People’s Choice has really been revamped – with a charity [Children’s Safe Drinking Water] and handing out pizza and a Miss People’s Choice?  It’s all over the place.

I’m kinda surprised Lady GaGa hasn’t been mentioned on this show.

Fave Movie Actor: Johnny Depp.  Also Actor of the Decade.  I so wished Ryan Reynolds would have a chance.  He is SO way hotter.  Sacha Baron Cohen is really hot as his natural self – even if he IS a bit bothersome in character.  Anyways, Johnny.  Great actor, but I basically only like the Pirate movies and Finding Neverland.  I just like what I like.

The show was rushed and disjointed with a few good moments – kinda like this post.  Maybe when it warms up a lil bit my brain will thaw.

the AMAs: kid sister shares time in the spotlight

For Jermaine (who was trying to sing along, but didn’t know the words):

Everywhere I go, every smile I see
I know you are there – smiling back at me
Dancing in moonlight I know you are free
Cuz I can see your star shining down on me

Janet is a star.  And she’s still got it.  I can’t imagine what she’s been through this year, but she brought the best opening sequence I’ve seen at the American Music Awards in a while.

Paula Abdul is up next in a beautiful black dress and looking completely present – is she hosting?  Well, she’s presenting the first award…

Fave Pop/Rock Group: BEP collects their 6th AMA.

Haven’t actually seen Veronica Mars in a minute – but she gets to give Rascal Flatts their best Country group award for the 4th straight year.  And Pete Wentz  kinda creeps me out.  Which is fitting I guess, cuz watching his wife on Melrose Place, she kinda creeps me out, too.

Maybe it’s cuz my life is just barely winding down from the crazy, but I’m feeling particularly snarky.  Daughtry doesn’t usually get any love from me, since I’m not really into the rock bands that all sound the same to me.  ffwd.

Shakira’s performance starts off cool with the steppers, and then her hair’s kinda cool – she kinda looks like she’s going for Mariah’s look.  But I’m trying to figure out if I’m actually hearing her voice or not.  Adam Lambert seems totally into it, which actually ups his stock in my estimation.

Keith Urban is definitely one of the cutest country artists there are – I guess that’s why he doesn’t have to wear a hat.  Kiss A Girl is ok, but..uh…ffwd.

Reba McIntyre is definitely looking better than she did on SNL last night…she introduces Kelly Clarkson – the one, true Idol.  I love Already Gone.  It’s just a great song.  And I love Kelly Clarkson.  So it’s great.

Fave Pop/Rock Female Artist: Taylor Swift – she’s at Wembley Stadium for a show tomorrow night – cool.

A. Rod, Jay-Z, Alicia Keys – New York State of Mind.  I love this song.  I can’t even explain it.  I even get why Lil Mama jumped up on stage at the MTv Awards.  Solange, Taye Diggs, they’re into it – Leona Lewis is barely head bobbin’ – Melissa Etheridge is feeling this more than her.  Whitney’s proving there’s still a little Bobby left in her, and Perez Hilton is surprisingly rhythmic.  This is probably the hypest song of the year.

Alternative Rock Band: Green Day.  Second time they’ve won this one.  Short n sweet thank yous – the way I like ’em.

Ok. Wait.  What?  Kate Hudson is wearing something crazy.  It basically makes her look like a boy.  I just saw way too much of her chest.

You know what?  The Black-Eyed Peas are fun, party music, but I kinda don’t understand them.  Their performances always seem so odd.  I just don’t get it.  They kinda seem like grown up versions of iCarly – cuz of how nonsensical they seem, sometimes.  But I. Love. Boom Boom Boom.  Seth Green seems to like it, too.  That was the craziest mashup I’ve seen in some time – It Takes Two To Make A Thing Go Right and Smells Like Teen Spirit?  Crazy.  But it worked.

Soul/R&B Male:  Michael Jackson.  With Jermaine and his family accepting, because he hadn’t yet been inappropriate enough.  By the way, I actually think Jamie Foxx should’ve won, but I understand why MJ won.  It’s not necessarily undeserved.

Country Male:  Keith Urban.  First AMA – congrats.  ffwd.

Soul/R&B Female: Beyonce.  Couldn’t be there.  Awww.

Ne-Yo does a song from the Princess and the Frog?  YAY!  I love him.  He intros RiRi wearing a modified suit from The Fifth Element.  How can you not love the line – “I’m such a freakin’ lady”?

Carrie Underwood performs and it looks like she’s wearing  a look by Carol Hannah (of Project Runway fame).  I definitely feel like I saw that as the first look on her Bryant Park collection.  She’s the second voted Idol to perform tonight, third alum to sing, and 4th to grace the stage, as Kris Allen presented.  Paula is pleased as punch.

Then Lady Gaga performs and it is…to be expected, I guess.  I don’t know what that strap over her privates is. but it’s weirdly distracting.  Her voice is really good though.  When she plays the piano things are nice, except the camera’s obsession with her crotch being fed by the fact that her legs are spread w-i-d-e open.  I suppose it’s true that without all of her eccentricities she probably wouldn’t be famous at all.

PS – I still don’t like Perez Hilton.

Drake, Kid Cudi, Jeremi, introduce Mary J.  Why did Drake have to say it was his mother’s fave woman in the world?  I guess it’s nice.  But…it definitely spotlights her age.  Though Mary’s looking dang good.  And her voice is SO much better!  Her performances have really improved.

Ahh – so that‘s Colby Callait.  She wasn’t feeling NY State of Mind.  Eh.  And Gloriana wins Breakthrough Artist.

Who is Gloriana?

I thought Keri Hilson shoulda won.  But Country does have very devoted fans.

J. Lo’s singing again?  I like this song.  But I do not like the outfit.  Those shorts are AWFUL!  And then they – they – made it worse!  They put some kind of strange skirt looking thing over it!  Throw on your Louboutins and get thee to a stylist, Jenny-from-the-block!

Samuel L. Jackson presents International Artist of the Year to Whitney.  I wonder what is required to win this.  I’m amazed that the Bodyguard soundtrack is still the number 1 soundtrack – I thought sure it’d be Titanic.  But Whitney has come back and I’m happy.  She looks great.  And she sounds great.  You know that choir is so proud of her.  I think most every Black person in America is proud of Whitney’s comeback – and that she’s no longer with Bobby.  She wasn’t built to break.  You go Whitney.  Ooh – and Bobbi Christina is cute, now?  Everything’s coming up roses for Whitney, now.

Fave Country Female: Taylor Swift.  She’s still up?  How is she gonna be ready for the concert?

Fave Pop/Rock Male: It’s a shame MJ died this year.  For so many reasons.  He’s now won 23 AMAs.  Jermaine’s Muslim?  I thought they were Jehovah’s Witnesses.  It would’ve been nice to see TI spank Em, though.  I dunno if it would’ve happened, but I woulda loved it.  So I’m gonna say that’s how it would’ve gone.

Alicia Keys has brought back all the 90s dances, and that dude dancer she’s got is in-cred-i-ble.   And a lil bit hot.  But unbelievably talented.  She’s wearing some craziness, but then, that’s what she does.  I like this song, too.  Have you ever tried sleeping with a broken heart?

Seth Green intros Em and Fitty.  It’s kinda disgusting to me to see girls singing along with Em, seeing as how he’s so woman-hating in his music.  Not that I don’t kinda like that second song he was doing.

Now Timbaland is kinda cool but also bananas.  I’m glad he’s still hanging with Nelly Furtado – that’s cool.  I dunno who the other girl is.  But the zombie thing is a little bit cool.  With a not-so-subtle Thriller reference it’s cute.

That little Hobbit fellow from FlashForward kinda gives me the creeps.  But I would also be jumping up and down to intro Green Day singing 21 Guns.  I love this song.  And I love how these guys are old and married with kids now, but they’re still great.

Wow.  I had no idea Keri Hilson was that tall!  Or..that Toni Braxton was that short.  They present fave Rap/Hip-Hop Male:  Jay-Z.  So…who would be nominated for the female version of this award?  Is there even a female version?

Ryan Seacrest had time to present?  How many jobs does he have?

Artist of the Year:  Taylor Swift.  She won 5 tonight.  I kinda thought she’d win.

And now Adam Lambert performs.  Isn’t it a lil over the top to grind into a dude’s face?  The lyrics are actually right on – “do you know what I’m about to do?”  I was never really a fan, so excuse me if I think his 15min are up.  I still think he’d be better in a more Freddie Mercury role.  I’m watching the folks by the stage and everyone just looks like they’re staring.  They’re all clapping now, but…he still weirds me out a little.

Oh, and 9 awards were given out earlier, with Jay-Z winning a couple, Michael winning a few, and Taylor winning a few.  But I didn’t see a Rap/Hip-Hop category for the ladies.  Come back Eve – we miss you!

 

 

 

 

 

just in time for the awards

VMAsI’m back from Hilton Head and made it home just in time to unpack and catch the VMAs.   Tonight begins with an MJ tribute kicked off by Madonna, which actually brought me to tears by the end.  Next came dance numbers from Thriller, Bad, Smooth Criminal, and Scream (apparently, me and Bey love this song!).  I’m not sure how the lean works in Smooth Criminal, but apparently one of the dancers couldn’t get his trick to work and just bent at the waist…

janet

I can't imagine how strong you have to be to perform in honor of a sibling...

But now Janet’s on stage and I’m so glad that they had the chance to record this song together.

Tribute over, now we get to see Katy Perry singing Queen (w/Joe Perry on guitar), to bring Russell Brand onstage.  She does a good job, considering that I’m not actually into her.  And since I’ve now seen Forgetting Sarah Marshall, I know a bit more about Russell Brand.  Don’t all the way hate him.  But I still am not a fan.  He’s still really doing really rude humor, and I’m not impressed.

And I think it’s gonna be one of those nights where whenever one of his jokes falls flat he’s gonna reference love and MJ.

crazy appetizer - more to come!

crazy appetizer - more to come!

The camera pans to Lady GaGa several times and I admit, here and now, I don’t get her.  It just seems like she’s trying too hard.

Best female video (presented by Shakira, and the teen wolf from Twilight):  Taylor Swift wins for You Belong With Me – I thought it should be for Romeo and Juliet.  But maybe that was last year.

"what can I say? it's all about Bey! [not me!]"

"what can I say? it's all about Bey! (not me!)

 

So then Kanye pulls a Kanye and jumps up on stage, grabs Taylor’s mic and says Beyonce made one of the best videos of all time.    Bey had a kinda thanks-that’s-really-sweet-but-I-didn’t-ask-for-that-and-I-love-my-fans-ok? look on her face.  Taylor looks around, not really knowing what to do.  So they cue up a video intro for the Best New Artist voting.  That way the booing calmed down.  But how is Asher Roth in the running for BNA?

And there we are – Russell Brand’s first ref to love and MJ when he makes a crappy dirty joke.

Leighton Meester and Jack Black present Best Rock video.  Sometimes I wonder how Coldplay qualifies as rock.  I don’t have to worry, though.  Green Day wins!

Miranda Cosgrove [AKA iCarly, a friend of Jack Black’s] and some kid I’ve never seen or heard of [perhaps because I’m a bit of an oldhead] introduce Taylor Swift singing in the subway on the way to Radio City.  Once again – You Belong with Me – cute the first 80 times I heard it.  Now…just ok.

perhaps a little over-the-top

perhaps a little over-the-top

Lady Gaga actually has a really good voice.  So maybe she’s just Prince-eccentric.  I don’t really get the wheelchair and brace in the dance number.  And then the poorly mic’d piano bit that segues into her having been mortally wounded and hanging center stage?  That was really disturbing.  And this Wale person functioning as house band vocalist has (I guess) been assigned to distract everyone from all the weirdness.  So the audience doesn’t really get the chance to let what’s actually happening sink in.

The clips with Em and Tracy are a lil bit cute.  I think I’d prefer Em as a comedic actor.

Russell Brand makes a joke that no one laughs at – maybe because it seems to reference taking advantage of a mentally ill person by drugging and raping her.

Nelly Furtado and Kristin C. present Best Pop video and I think we all are hoping Bey wins.  But she doesn’t.  Brit-Brit wins for Womanizer.  But at least she’s on tour, so no one can come take her mic away.

Then we get Adam Brody [looking a tiny-bit more grown up] and Megan Fox [wearing an ugly dress, IMO] to introduce Green Day’s performance.   Billie Joe is way hype.  Tre Cool’s only signs of life are the fact that he continues to beat the drums.  Then BJA decides to get a bunch of fans up on stage – starting with a girl that looks like someone took her pants.  Then it’s mayhem for a lil while until we see him again body surfing.  I’m sure that was a security nightmare.

Security!

Security!

But then we get a nice nugget from the announcer-lady pre-commercial, Bey got a VMA for best choreo.  Yay!

***Twi-hard moment***  Unplug your brains, peeps.  Yay for Dakota Fanning getting a cool role.  Boo for the cute boy losing the girl to Mr. Cellophane.

NeYo and Nate from GG intro Ms. Bey.  Sasha Fierce is in the building, y’all!  And hopefully this many dancers will finally cement the fact that it’s the left hand that gets the ring into people’s minds.  Wheee!  That is why I watch, MTV!

i got my hands up! oh, oh, oh

i got my hands up! oh, oh, oh

Jamie Lynn Siegler and Diddy intro Best Male vid.  When Diddy says Kanye’s name there’s a bunch of booing, cuz folks can’t move on.  I love TI and NeYo, but I got love for Jay too, so basically I’m cool with anybody but Em winning this.  TI wins!  ATL, baby!  WOOOOO!!!

Muse, an apparently British band that inspires Stephanie Meyer, plays in a separate theater.  I’m guessing this is the potty break/nap time for viewers, audience members in the main theater, and prep time for presenters.  I’m ffwd-ing. [oh DVR, how I love thee]

A glitter covered man singing Gives You Hell finishes up and then J Lo is onstage to present Best Hip-Hop vid.  I don’t think Em should even be nominated for this – that song is not hip-hop.  Kanye’s isn’t really, either.  I feel like this should go straight to Jay.  But instead it doesn’t.  This doofball Em gets it.  And if he says something about MC I will flip.  Thankfully his mouth stays shut.

Then there’s a tiny moment dedicated to DJ AM.

come on now.  really?

come on now. really?

Russell Brand is back on.  Miraculously he doesn’t insult anyone and actually calls Tracy Morgan a comedy legend.  Wow.  Em and Tracy present BNA to Lady GaGa…who can’t really see because of her bizarre outfit.  She clains her moonman for her fans, God, and the gays.  Ok.

Serena’s onstage now to introduce Pink.  She references that little line thing and then all eyes are on Pink.  She’s on the ground for a few moments and then she’s in the air the rest of the time she performs Sober. With no wardrobe malfunctions.  Maybe that’s how the superbowl forever ago was actually supposed to work.  Nonetheless, her work in the air was awesome!

Video of the Year is presented by SNL folks: Jimmy Fallon [yawn], and Andy Samberg [grin].  They reference BIIM and Motownphilly and I love it – LOVE.  Moonman goes to Bey!  Whee!  She is happy.  And Jay is still on the way.  But Bey gives this moment to Taylor – also wearing a red dress.  Looking SO seventeen.  Sounding so seventeen.  But really – all’s well that ends well, right?

How has the hype around Jay gotten this big?  Come on.  He’s not that big.  But this’ll be cool.  Alicia Keys and Jay.  And I know he’s loving it but feels like a fool being as old as he is having to sag his pants.  A tribute to the city.  I like it.  And I love how Bey is all the way into supporting her man.  All the way.  Edited to add: Ok.  I saw Lil Mama hop up o stage and try to get in the mix.  This song is hype, but come on Mama, really?  Aren’t you just a little embarrassed?

And now the close: This Is It, the documentary.  With “never-before-seen” footage.  You know, now, every time I hear those few beginning notes of Man in the Mirror, I get tears in my eyes.

Were the last words of the VMAs just Hare Krishna?  Could we please stop having Russell Brand as the host, please???

Let’s let Mike’s legacy be how we end this evening:

BET Awards ’09: we love you, Michael!

The show starts off with tape of Michael draping a sequined cape on James Brown at his performance at the ’03 BET Awards.  He did a few fancy foot moves a la JB, and bowed to the Godfather of Soul.  Then we hear the beginning of ABC and see 5 or 6 people [it’s hard to tell] silhouetted in front of a band and a screen showing the Jackson 5.  I can’t tell who iss singing lead on this, but he kinda reminds me of Ralph Tresvant and he’s having trouble reaching the high notes [being a grown man, I can see why].  The background vocals are ok, but we’re just left with a kinda weird feeling best summed up by the face on Weezy, mid-performance.  I can’t find a pic, but watch that stuff if you haven’t seen that.

Oh, snap! It really is New Edition.  With Bobby Brown.  And it’s a little bit scary.  They could’ve at least tried to pitch it a little lower.

So.  Um.  MC Lyte is just the official announcer for the BET Awards?  Like, that’s what she’s doing now?

jamie beat it bet 09Anyways, Jamie Foxx is doing really great doing the dance from Beat It, when you consider he had like, no time to practice this wknd.  He’s in the This is a celebration of MJ.  And for real, I’ve never seen grown white people faint for any other artist.  All over the freakin’ world.

I’m happy to see Jeremy Piven – just because I have a huge thing for Jeremy Piven.  Haven’t seen him in a while, since I don’t have HBO.

Tyra (wearing a really cute top) presents top athlete to LeBron.  And Best male Hip-Hop artist: Lil Wayne.  With an entourage.

Ginuwine remembers the Motown 25 performance as his pivotal MJ moment.

BET is seriously having some technical difficulties, cuz Jamie doesn’t know when he’s back on and he’s giving the censors a rough time with his intermittent cuss words…

But Keri Hilson’s performance was pretty good.  Ending on MJ woulda been good…but then she went too far and decided to get her version of the Holy Ghost.  Wasn’t good.

Neyo’s Lady in My Life is simple, and lovely.  And I’m getting tears.  I still can’t believe he’s gone.

Alright Keke Palmer can sing.  But now the spotlight’s on Jamie.  Blame It, y’all.  Tyra knows these words.  What’s up with Snoop on the stage?  He’s just dancing around?  And T-Pain brought his drink onstage?  Wearing a Big @ss Chain?  Ok…now it’s a lil bit weird with Travis Barker on drums and Jamie playing electric guitar.  But that was a great catch by the stage hand.  Jamie just threw that guitar at that guy.

BET needs to come a lil bit more correct to honor MJ.  Things are still running behind.

I’m just not into Soulja Boy Tell ‘Em, but apparently even Taraji knows the words to Turn My Swag On.  Jamie’s for real, though – he isn’t writing any songs.  He’s just talking about his day.  Blah.

Best Collabo: Jamie Foxx and T-Pain.  Cuz, really, Blame It is crazy hot.  Like…8 months later?  Still hot.  I don’t think I’ve seen T-Pain’s face before.  He looks a lot better without the glasses.

Best Male R&B: Ne-Yo.  Cuz who else is there right now, anyway?  He said he wasn’t expecting this, but – I dunno who else was nominated, so…

Dr.’s Davis, Hunt, and Jenkins made a pact to stay in school and become doctors.  That’s cool.  Don’t hear much about that kind of thing.  And they don’t look bad either.

So, I have I am…Sasha Fierce and I’ve listened to Ave Maria, and it just comes across strange to me.  The robe thing that Beyonce had on for the beginning of the performance was weird..but then the change to a bride(?) outfit was a little weird.  And then, instead of Halo, which is what I thought we were going to hear, Bey sings Angel by Sarah McLachlan.  And then she goes into the actual Latin Ave Maria. With a very strong accent.    That skirt was just bizarre, though.  I was just…confused…by the whole experience.  I thought Halo would’ve been more fitting than either/any of that other stuff.

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more about “Most Talked About Moments | BET Award…“, posted with vodpod

SheNehNeh and Wanda?  That was hilarious.

Mary Mary are turning it out for Jesus, y’all.  I heard God In Me banging in a car on the road one day and I had no idea it was Mary Mary.  And Queen La is on it, too.  Why don’t I have this album, yet?

WTF?  Zoe Saldana just tells us all that Nichelle Nichols – the woman who “paved the way for…an entire generation” – is not on stage cuz she in the Ladies’ Room?!?!  That’s just a bit crazy.

Best Female Actress: Taraji P. Henson.  [Hot dress, T!]

Best New Artist: Keri Hilson.  ATL, y’all.  [not into the dress though.]

And now, Jamie and Ne-Yo – Miss Independent Remix.  I like this song, but the dancer is a little bit weird.  Fabolous comes out for the rap and I wonder…haven’t heard anything from him in a while…What’s up with Jamie calling out the recession?  Once was funny.  Twice was kinda..weird.

Ooooh wee.  Keith Sweat is just as ugly as he ever was.  Oooh, wee!  Continue reading

Oscars ’09: what recession?

First things First: The Dresses

Anne Hathaway wearing Armani ~ totally works.  She actually kinda looked like an Oscar statue…at least from the

best dress of the evening

best dress of the evening

neck down.  Her hair was very – done – maybe a little too much – but still a beauty for the first nominee I see on the red carpet.

I love looking at the dresses for the Academy Awards.  There usually seem to be more hits than misses – unlike some others awards…

Penelope Cruz chose a fabulous vintage Pierre Balmain.  She saw the dress 8 years ago, and went back to the shop and found the *same* dress.  Serendipity.

marisa-tomeiMarisa Tomei is wearing a Versace that just arrived this morning.  The bodice is a bit plain, but grows into an elaborate array of pleats that spin outward into a train.  The color is muted, so the overall effect is not as stunning as it might be on someone with a bit more of a tan.

The Show

Hugh Jackman is hosting.  Interesting.  The opening number is something.  “I am Wolverine.” Indeed.

Cardboard props under a Swarovski crystal curtain.

Angelina’s got a beautiful black dress on, hopefully I won’t get to see any more of it.

But big congrats go out to Meryl Streep for her 15th nomination.  I’ve actually been hoping she wins this year, too.

Taraji P. Henson makes me want that Benjamin Button movie to win an award.  Her dress is awesome, and she looks lovely.  But I am totally not into that movie.

Eh.  Penelope Cruz wins Best Supporting Actress for Vicky Cristina Barcelona.  And for best dress.  Interesting way to present the award – 5 previous winners list the nominees and last year’s winner opens the envelope.

Tina Fey and Steve Martin made a quick quip on Scientology on the way to presenting the award for Best Original Screenplay.  Milk wins.  Dustin Lance Black is promising equal rights for gays.  Wow.  I didn’t know he could do that.

I am totally not into Tina Fey’s dress.  It almost looks like it’s made of foil.  I love the way she and Steve read the writing, though.  It’s awesome.

Best Adapted Screenplay goes to Simon Beaufoy for Slumdog Millionaire.  I really want to see this movie, but I live in Podunk.  So.  No access.

I wish I could zoom in on my tv screen.  I’d love to zoom in on Jennifer Aniston’s hair.

Seriously?  Horton Hears a Who was last year?  Wow.  It seems so much longer ago.  I really want Wall-E to win.  Woo!!!!  Yay!  Wall-E wins for Best Animation Feature Film.  Ok.  I’m happy.

Best Animated Short Film: La Maison en Petits Cubes by Kunio Kato.  Poor guy doesn’t know much English, so he bows out with a bit of Mr. Roboto.

SJP’s got a great dress, but it looks like her dress might not come up enough.  To the top.

  • Best Art Direction: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  I honestly don’t care about this.  Yay for DVR!
  • Best Costume Design: The Duchess.  [and again, I press fast forward.]
  • Best Makeup: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Good for them.

Here’s some young’uns.  Robert Pattinson and Amanda Seyfried present a romantic movie montage.  Wow.  I think the one tiny clip from Meet the Browns kind of spotlighted how few faces of color were present in the montage.  The only other ones were from Slumdog Millionaire and they played several clips from that [because of all the nominations.

Best Cinematography: presented by Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller.   Natalie’s dress is *very* pink.  Ben Stiller then pulls a McCain and starts wandering aimlessly around the stage.  Slumdog Millionaire wins.

Jessica Biel has got a funky dress by Prada.  jessica-biel-prada_

James Franco and shoot – what’s his name? oh yeah – Seth Rogan present Best Live Action Short after the comedy montage.  I wanted New Boy to win, but it ends up to be Spielzeugland (Toyland) that wins.

Now Hugh, Beyonce, and…Zac and Vanessa…and Amanda Seyfried…do a Baz Luhrmann musical tribute to: musicals.  The musical is back y’all – and I’m loving it.  LOVING it!

Five previous winners for Best Supporting Actor present for this year’s winner.  And Alan Arkin gets screwed by a teleprompter that lists PSM’s name as Seymour Philip Hoffman.  I’m still reeling at Robert Downey, Jr.’s nomination for work in blackface.  Slyly described by Cuba Gooding, Jr.  As predicted, Heath Ledger wins for the creepiest Joker ever.  Totally deserved.  His family accepts.

A documentary montage leads in to Bill Maher presenting Best Documentary Feature for Man on Wire.  For which one of the recipients balances the Oscar on his chin.  Best Documentary Short Film goes to Smile Pinki by Megan Mylan.

The action montage – cars, cars, and more cars.  And fire.

Will Smith presents Best Visual Effects to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.  Blah.  All for turning Brad Pitt into a “garden gnome”.  Best Sound Editing to The Dark Knight.  I actually thought that one might’ve should’ve gone to Wall-E.  Best Sound Mixing to Slumdog Millionaire. Best Film Editing to Slumdog Millionaire.  [I really want to see this movie.  Hope it comes to my town now that it’s won so much.]

Huh.  So, Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are still/back together.  Huh.

does she look like herself to you?

does she look like herself to you?

Ok, back to the awards.  Eddie Murphy presents the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award to Jerry Lewis.  The telethon has raised over 2 billion dollars over the last 43 years.  Wow.  Jerry’s speech seems to be on the teleprompter.  Interesting.  Still, nice – to the point, a bit humorous, well done.

Nominated scores are played by the Oscar orchestra, and quite beautiful.

Alicia Keys does not look like herself to me.  Her hair is a different color or something.  But she and Zac Efron present Best Original Score to Slumdog Millionaire.  Best Original Song nominees perform: 2 songs from Slumdog, one from Wall-EO Saya was by MIA but she just had a baby, so they’re letting her stay seated.  Down to Earth is performed by John Legend and an accompanying choir.  Nice to know John Legend speaks Prada.  That brown suit is sweet.  Then Slumdog comes back with Jai Ho. Then the songs all come together to be beautiful.  Awesome performances.  Jai Ho wins Best Original Song.

Liam Neeson and Frieda Pinto present Best Foreign Language Film to Japan for Departures.

Queen Latifah intros the goodbye tribute montage with I’ll Be Seeing You. I think there are only 3 awards left.  Oops – nope.

Reese Witherspoon presents for Best Director wearing a black and blue creation that I can’t make up my mind about.  I think I’d love it if there weren’t these odd black straps seeming to come out of nowhere.  They seem superfluous.  Danny Boyle receives best director for SlumdogNow, there’re only 3 left.

So far, Slumdog is the big winner, with 6 awards.  Ben Button is next with 3.

Best Actress is presented by 5 other winners – Shirley Maclaine to Anne Hathaway, Marianne Cotillard to Kate Winslet, Halle Berry to Melissa Leo, Sophia Loren to Meryl Streep, Nicole Kidman to Angelina Jolie.  Kate Winslet wins for The Reader.  She looks great in YSL and calls for her father to give a whistle so she knows where her family is in the audience.  He does, and she is steadied enough to make her speech.

Best Actor is presented by 5 previous winners – Michael Douglas to Frank Langella, Robert DeNiro to Sean Penn, Adrien Brody to Richard Jenkins, Anthony Hopkins to Brad Pitt, Sir Ben Kingsley to Mickey Rourke.  Sean Penn wins for Milk. So I’m getting ready for the speech.  I know it’s coming.  I almost thought Rourke was gonna win.  The speech is actually not bad.  Rourke gets a shout out.

Then my DVR cut off.  Thankfully I was caught up, so I just went live.  But doggone – I made the recording go an extra 15 min.  Oh well – it always goes long.

Steven Spielberg presents Best Picture to Slumdog Millionaire.   This movie better come to my town.  That’s all I’m saying.  Yay for them!

New movies I’m interested in seeing: Sherlock Holmes, UP, Fame, Terminator Salvation, 500 Days of Summer, Night at the Museum 2, Monsters Vs Aliens, Harry Potter, Angels and Demons, and the next Ice Age. But now I’ve gotta go to bed.  G’Night!

i need some notice, ya’ll

naacp-imageThe NAACP Awards are on tonight.  And the only reason I even know is that nothing else is being taped by my DVR.  So I checked to make sure ‘Bones’ isn’t supposed to be being taped.  And these awards are on.  Today, Lincoln’s birthday, is the 100th anniversary of the NAACP.

Beyonce opened with Halo and tears in her eyes.  The video montage ended with Obama, as these are so often wont to do.  I love that these awards are for people of color.  Not just black people.

Chandra Wilson won best female tv drama actress. YAY!  Jennifer Hudson won Best New Artist. Yay!  Hill Harper won best male tv actor. Yay!

Tracee Ellis Ross won for best female tv comedy actress on Girlfriends.  I thought that show was over.

Grey’s Anatomy won for outstanding tv drama.  Outstanding comedy series goes to TP’s House of Payne.  Really?  That show isn’t even that funny.

You know what?  I’m not listing these awards – there are too many!  They don’t televise a bunch of them, and so there are too many to list and pay attention to.  I’ve already missed that guy from House of Payne, and I don’t know what his name is.

And the awards to Wangari Maathai and Al Gore – I don’t even know what they were for!  The song by Will.I.Am was nice.  It was all for the environment – good to know he’s continuing to use his powers for good.

Diddy won for Raisin in the Sun – instead of Andre Braugher for Andromeda Strain [which I freakin loved].  This show is crazy.

Taraji won for Benjamin Button – instead of any of the lovely ladies from Bees.  I totally protest against that Button movie, just cuz it looks sucky to me.  I’m sure lots of people love it, but it’s not for me.

I’ve heard Seal do ‘A Change Gon’ Come’, and he did a good job.  Now it’s ‘People Get Ready’, which I’ve always loved.  It’s just so rare for me to hear something from him.  And Curtis Mayfield passed last year, so it’s fitting.  Oh shoot.  Now I’ve got tears in my eyes.

Oooh, Halle.  The black dress with a peekaboo halter and some sparkly snakeskin(?) – that thing is awesomely fine.  Great dress.

Russell Simmons is getting the Vanguard award.  I’m surprised he hasn’t already gotten one, but hey – shout out to the veggies!  Do you, folks.  Yoga mogul.  Ha!

How come every time Diddy comes on stage, they play I’ll Be Missing You?  That song came out forever ago.  He present the award to Russell, and he gives his hat to his girls [Ming & Aoki] – who give it back and forth to each other and really steal the show until he takes the hat back.  But then they take it back when one starts tapping on his arm, saying that she should also be thanked.  And then raises the award above her head.  While her sister plays with the gum in her mouth.  They’re fantastic!

Muhammad Ali receives the president’s award.  To the tune of The Greatest Love of All, I suppose because he is The Greatest.  And Jennifer Hudson sings The Impossible Dream, fittingly, beautifully.

Finally, The Secret Life of Bees wins for best movie, and the show is closed as are all these days – with Stevie Wonder.  This show was almost stressful in its speed and coverage of almost every facet of life.

Speaks to how overlooked we were.  In everything.  For so long.

grammy’s: the ok music awards

grammyTonight is the night for the biggest music award…or at least, they’re trying to hold on to that reputation.  Grammy’s still mean a lot, bu the AMAs, WMAs, MTV moonmen, and BET Awards are edging them out in relevance.  By far, the best music awards show last year was the BET awards.  And I can already see the Grammy;s this year are gonna be a lil weak.  So I’ll pop the occasional edamame, and comment as I am wont to do.

U2 starts the show with a song I’ve never heard, perhaps entitled Big Kiss?  Not a bad song.  The lyrics are flashed across the big screen behind Bono, so you can understand what he’s singing.  Some of them seem to be hallucinogenic-inspired, but that’s not necessarily surprising.  And watching Bono…dance…is super-entertaining.  Good performance, even if the song wasn’t familiar to me.

jhudWhitney instroduces the first award – Best R&B Album – in a very nice dress, but a kind of ugly wig.  Only one woman was nominated, and she won: Jennifer Hudson!  It’s her year.  Her dress was kind of weird.  Sculpted, white, gray and black.  This was big for her, it’s been a rough year, but I know she’s got big things still to come.

Dwayne “The Rock” is my man and all, but he’s no MC.  [Er.  Dave Grohl and Paul McCartney? Ok.]

JT, Boyz II Men, and Keith Urban are supposed to be doing a tribute with/to Al Green, and uh, it’s just not really working.  The best part is probably is Keith Urban on the guitar.  Al doesn’t seem to be into it until closer to the end when he steps out and does a high note – which Justin feels ill-advisedly compelled to imitate.  Let’s Stay Together doesn’t resonate with this audience, apparently, and all I can think of is how bad this is compared to the BET awards last year. [really bad]

Coldplay is still the same. This is Chris Martin and Jay-Z doing Lost.  Better than usual.  But then it’s back to the usual: Viva La Vida.

Carrie Underwood’s up next with Last Name.  It’s a little rock-ed up, and I like it.  A lot.  And I’m noticing a trend with the mic’s.  Chris Martin had a personalized mic with different colors, Carrie’s is covered in glitter – cool.  I’ll keep an eye on them.  eanwhile, Carrie is belting like she’s still trying to please Simon – in all the right ways.  She stuck the landing – this was a crowd pleaser!

Leann Rimes and Sheryl Crow match.  It’s kinda cute.  But Leann’s hair is really flat.  Oh well, Sugarland wins for Stay, which is a nice song.  And another woman wins – I like it.

Duffy and Al Green present – now there’s a pair up I think would’ve been cool.  And it turns out they do!  Although Al sounds way more awesome by himself.  Woo!  Coldplay wins Song of the Year for Viva La Vida. I stick out my tongue at this.

Kid Rock begins his song Amen with some really disturbing commentary on the current situation of the world.  This is no Bawitdaba.  The phrase “got me feeling guilty for being white” makes the song a whole ‘nother level of interesting.  Then the song ends and segues into a couple phrases of All Summer Long [which I’ve not made any secret about hating].  And we’re into Rock n Roll Jesus to close the set.  Eh.

Since I’m watching on a delay, I get to fast-forward through commercials now, so once again THANK YOU DVR!

And now – the JoBros break up club: Miley Cyrus and Taylor Swift singing Fifteen together.  Miley’s sparkly jacket is just a little bit heinous, and her affect is just a little bit hilarious.  Taylor looks like a pro and Miley looks like an amateur.  But maybe it’s just a difference in age.

They present Best Pop Collaboration and I can’t believe No Air is even still eligible.  It’s definitely more popular than Rich Woman by Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.  But they win, and only Robert speaks.  Huh.

Jennifer Hudson sings You Pulled Me Through with great control, and looks exceptionally put together.  Great hair, and a black sequined dress that fits just right (until the end of th song when the one shoulder comes down but looks good anyway).  I couldn’t tell if she was referring to God or her fans in the song, but she closes pointing to the viewer…inspirational either way.

Jason Mraz is so quirky with his suit and sneakers.

I’ve just been personally insulted by the Grammys.  Stevie Wonder is guesting on a JoBros performance – opening with a vocoder seuence, and then singing sporadically when one of these children yells his name.  Now they’re going to back him up on Superstition.  This should not be happening!  I don’t believe it.  This isn’t real life.  Maybe I sound irrational, but this is weirding me out.  ::shudder:: it’s over.  good.

kperryBlink 182 together again?  I missed these guys!  Yay.  Presenting Best Rock Album to -surprise,surprise- Coldplay.  Blah.

Whee! Colin Ferguson has scarred the ears of Kate Beckinsale’s child.  He’s used to late-night, I suppose.  His intro of Katy Perry was ok.  Her performance of I Kissed a Girl is…ok.  I’d actually like to see Jill Sobule come out and hear some kind of mix of the two songs.  Or really, just hear Jill Sobule’s song.  But at least the dress she came in is really nice.

adeleKanye’s hair is hitting old heights – 80s heights actually.  Estelle does this song so awesomely, I really like American Boy.  Her dress is a little spacey – it kind of makes her look hippy when she’s not.  They present Best New Artist to Adele.  I’m surprised she beat Duffy.  But she does have a really good voice.  Adele’s hair is really weird, but her dress is GREAT.  Freakin’ awesome, I love it.  Black, classic, great lines.

And now I’m listening to the Grammy announcer and she’s talking about an unprecedented “hip-hop summit” with TI, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, and Kanye.  Uh.  What?  Does she just mean they’ll perform Swagga Like Us?  I thought a summit was more like a discussion panel or something.  I’m excited, cuz I freakin’ love that song, and I dance around in my house when I turn it on and crank up the volume, but – a summit?

Kenny Chesney is America’s biggest ticket seller.  Wow.  The only time I ever hear his music is on these award shows.  This song (Better as a Memory) doesn’t suck, though.

miaSean Combs, Natalie Cole, Herbie Hancock? Interesting pair-up for presenting Record of the Year to Alison Krauss and Robert Plant’s Please Read the Letter.  Who is voting for this stuff???  MIA shoulda won that.  How hot is that dress?

Queen La notes Dean Martin’s Lifetime Achievement Award.   And now – the new Rat Pack.  I know that’s what Kanye wants to be, too.  Mom-to-be MIA intros and Jigga actually looks like an executive.  MIA wipes the dirt from his shoulder and bops out in a funky mini-maternadress.  Weezy hits his rhymes, but TI holds the swagga.

Apparently, MIA was due *today* so.  So.  That baby’s comin’ soon.  And has a freakin’ cool mom.

Sir Paul and Dave Grohl do I Saw Her Standing There.  I wondered how this would sound.  It sounds like the Beatles.

Jack Black is himself.  He intros Charlie Hayden, who in turn presents the Lifetime Achievment to Hank Jones.  They present Best Male Pop Vocal to John Mayer for Say.  Good song.  Bad jacket.  Shiny, strange.

Then the idiot Jay Mohr and the lovely LL intro Adele and Sugarland.  Stay. [Way better than the countrification of Irreplaceable]  Jennifer Nettles definitely gets into the song, and starts this weird, floopy-looking swaying. [Perhaps “floopy-looking” is unclear, but should you have the opportunity to watch a clip, you’ll see this was the only appropriate word.]  The collab on Chasing Pavements and it’s nice.  Well done.

Gwyneth intros Radiohead and the UNC Trojan Marching Band: 15 Step.  I like this.  The lead singer seems like he might be a lil bit..special.  But I like this.  UNC’s the rockin-est band, for reals, with this performance.  And you know all the guys on the drumline are freakin’ out like they’re real rock stars.

Samuel L Jackson, and his signature loud voice, intro Justin and TI performing Dead and Gone.  Some doofy reviewer at RollingStone said that Paper Trail was just a party cd and nothing big.  So with every smooth flow that comes from TI and this album I say – y’all people don’t know what you’re talking about.  The performance is great, but there’s something about southern rap that I just don’t feel like you can really appreciate unless you’re IN the south, in your car, riding with the music ALL the way up.  It’s the king, partner.

The Grammy Yes We Can speech really sucks.  The Grammy museum looks cool, though.  And now they’re petitioning a cabinet position for Secretary of Arts?  OK.

Smokey presents the Lifetime Achievement to the Four Tops.  Smokey and the last extant Top -Duke Fakir- join Jamie Foxx and Ne-Yo team up for a tribute Reach Out (I’ll Be There), Standing in the Shadows of Love, I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie Honey Bunch).  Smokey’s voice is still there and still phenomenal.  Ne-Yo and Jamie are definitely better in their own niches.  Performance overall is fairly well choreographed but, just ok.

I can’t stand Josh Groban, but Neil Diamond makes me nostalgic.  My dad used to play him when I was a kid.  I love that he’s still got his own swagger.  He’s 68.  Go boy.

BB and John Mayer toast those that passed last year, and it was ok.

Weezy and Robin Thicke’s tribute for the N.O. is nice.  It’s Weezy’s world, y’all.  We just live here.  The song is hot. HOT.

Two hats and glasses present Best Rap Album – T-Pain and Will.I.Am.  Wayne pulls out a home run from a year of ultimate highs.  I’d love to have seen TI win, but, like I said: It’s Weezy’s world.

Zooey Deschanel intros Robert Plant and Alison Krauss performing Rich Woman and Gone Gone Gone (Done Moved On).  I like Zooey, loved her in Elf.  But this music isn’t my style, and I don’t really have anything to say about it, other than at least there’s some harmony – so that’s nice.

Whee!  Green Day’s working on an album: ’21st Century Breakdown’.  Producer of the Year: Rick Rubin (Neil Diamond, Weezer, Metallica, Jakob Dylan).  And Album of the Year goes to ‘Raising Sand’ – Robert Plant and Alison Krauss.  Finally, she gets to talk.  But uh, this is kinda crazy.

Stevie closes the show.  A woman talks over him.  Credits roll.  A ‘Without a Trace’ commercial cuts him off.  I’m tired of folks trotting Stevie out whenever they want to show how much they appreciate ‘good’ music – and how they’re in touch with…whatever.

Overall, the awards were -wait for it- OK.  I’m looking forward to the BET Awards this year.  Except that TI is gonna be in jail…sad.

AMAs – just say NoKOTB

amasChristina opened with a medley that was awesome – shout out to Genie in the Bottle!  Then I saw Jimmy Kimmel was hosting.  Oh.  Eh.  He cracks a joke about Mariah to cement his being on my bad side and brings my bf onstage to award Best Female Artist.  That’s right – Jamie Foxx is my boyf.  I know y’all thought me and Twitch were gonna get married, but it turns out – I need somebody who can sing to me.

Best Female R&B Artist – Rihanna

Then the Old Kids on the Block performed and gave me the chills.  The skeevy chills.  The mix of old and new songs was o.k…Jordan’s falsetto was a lil bit scary, but apparently authentic.  The dance moves though – these guys move like old guys.  They need to sit down.

Best Male R&B Artist – Chris Brown (awww – what a great night for the couple)

Was Scott Weiland high?  Introducing Pink seemed quite difficult – maybe the teleprompter was acting wonky or something.

Pink’s performance was awesome and totally heartfelt – but Taylor Swift’s performance seems particularly poignant since that Jonas boy that broke up with her (on a text?) is sitting in the audience.  She sitting there singing about being dumped.  Pretty professional for a 17-yr-old.  She got a lil bit grimy at the end – GO TAYLOR!  [I hate the Jonas Brothers]

Best Country Group: Rascal Flatts [cuz they actually are the best]

Ne-Yo, the Gentleman.  Turn the lights off in this place.  This boy can write songs.  And sing.  And dance.  But in a way, he’s kinda like Tim McGraw.  In that I prefer for him to keep his hat on.  [I watched SNL last night and realized I’d never seen Tim McGraw without his hat on.  You know, he always looked so cute with Faith Hill…but…he always has a hat on.  Dude without the hat?  Uh uh.

Best Rap/Hip-Hop Album: Kanyeezy wants to be Elvis.

Jesse McCartney cowrote Bleeding Love – who knew?  Leona Lewis looks totally larger than life whenever I see her.  Better in Time isn’t my fave, though.  The performance is kinda anti-climactic for an awards show.

Billy Ray Cyrus introduces Miley’s performance.  This is the performance that convinces me that I am old.  Her voice is interesting.  Pretty amazing that she gets to perform at the AMAs for her 16th bday.  I didn’t like that song, though.

Best Male Country Artist: Brad Paisley

But cute – Taylor Swift and Jordin Sparks are there with Miley as she blows out her candles.  Great human interest.

I’m slowly becoming a Coldplay fan.  Everything they do is pretty pleasant.  I guess I just associate a lot of the obnoxious better-than-everyone-else vibe I get from Gwyneth, with Chris Martin – since he married her.  Guess the AMAs didn’t go green this year.  What with the detritus of a thousand trees flying through the air and landing on the stage.

Best Pop/Rock Album: Alicia Keys – great dress.  Great, great, great dress.  Awesome.  Good shape, great color.  And I am happy cuz I don’t listen to whoever else was nominated.

Terrence Howard is presenting Mariah with a record-breaker award.   And Mc sings – I Stay in Love.  The top of the dress is awesome – the bottom is a hot mess.  The slit in the back isn’t enough – the dress is so long she can barely walk.  Miley was also having earpiece issues, so maybe it’s an MC thing?  This performance still seems a little low-key, but when she stretched her arm out at the end – her arm looked so muscle-y.  She could totally punch you out.

Huh.  That girl from Scrubs was Ted’s gf on HIMYM (I hated her).  And now Scrubs is gonna be on ABC?  Eh – Never liked it.

Best Country Female: Taylor Swift.  In your face Jonas Boys.

Best Pop/Rock Female: Rihanna.  She’s got that paper detritus stuck in the back of her dress.  Good for her.

Kate Walsh cut her hair.  And introduced the Fray.  The lead singer always sounds like he’s about to go to sleep.

Jordin Sparks’ dress is SO freakin cute!!  Yellow and adorable.  [What’s up with Jordin and Enrique having already won – but we have no idea what?]

Best Rap/Hip-Hop Male: Kanyeezy – who abdicates for Weezy – who shoulda really won.  But then it is fan driven.  Eh – whatever – I agree with K, tho.

Ashley Tisdale’s presenting Breakthrough Artist of the Year – freaking Jonas Brothers.  These lil children.

The Dream introduces Bey – singing the song he wrote: Single Ladies. I’d love to see Justin come out and dance here.  The audience shots in this performance are hilarious.  That’s the kind of high-energy performance is supposed to come to an awards show.  Bey’s a great performer.

Best Soul/R&B Album: Alicia Keys.  Interesting…she’s got the song Superwoman out, and Christina has a song called Supergirl. Maybe that’s only interesting to me.  oh well.

AAaaack!  JoBros attack.  And it seems the song won’t end!  Thankfully the Pussycat Dolls are on next.  [Has anyone ever said that?]  It’s a little bit funny to me how Nicole S. does all the singing.

Justin!  He’s there!  And he didn’t pop out for Bey’s performance – what a waste.  I’m sad he’s not performing.  He’s giving the Award of Merit to Annie Lennox.  [BTW – how do you be an activist in silent ways for stuff people haven’t heard of?]  Anyway, she’s still a lil bit awesome.  And she’s performing.  Nice personalized award, too.

Natasha Bedingfield has a really nice voice – and her songs are so fun.  Yay, Natasha!  The dress is kind of disastrous, but who really cares?  How do you not like her?

Rihanna has more #1s in the ’00s than any other female?  Wow.  But what’s the eyepatch for?  Temporary, decorative eyepatches are kinda weird.  The special effects for this performance are really big – but the actual music was once again lo-key.

Motley Crue presents with …Tommy Lee in a very, very shiny suit.  But he looked totally sober.

Best Pop/Rock Group: Daughtry.

Kanye performs with a vocoder cuz he can – and he wants to be Elvis.  Heartless.

Wow, Sarah Mclachlan, too?  Haven’t even thought of her in years.  Duet with Pink?  What?  There‘s a twist that turned into quite possibly the best performance of the night. I wonder what all is on her greatest hits album.

Steven Tyler and Joe Perry – the dinosaurs of rock.  I wonder if they’re aware of how the teleprompters work.

Artist of the Year: Chris Brown

Alicia Keys perfoms Superwoman, and I guess that bookends the show, as Christina opened with Supergirl.  Queen La’s still rapping – praise God!  YES.  Sarah McLachlan just lost.  Kathleen Battle?  I’ve got to hand it to Alicia.  She has the best musical performances this year – bar NONE!  Awesome.  Awesome.

Ok, so these were good awards.  Mostly performances, which is always best.  Let’s keep ’em that way folks.