no more cookies before bed

socksLast night I got home and decided to have a few cookies while I watched ABDC.  Then I went to bed and wrote a card to my sis and fell asleep.

This morning, not too long before I got up, I had the weirdest dream.  I dreamt that I woke up, and was laying in bed when a strange woman came in to use my bathroom.  It was like I wasn’t even there.

And then there were two Japanese guys that came in, and they really had to go.  And there were a couple socks on my bathroom floor so they just decided to pee on my socks!  And I was yelling at them to stop – yelling “why are you doing that?!” and general yelling.

I finally woke up – and there weren’t even any socks on my floor.  It was just strange.  And distressing.

No more cookies before bed.  Even a couple hours.

shy moments: freshman enlightenment

shy momentsMy first year in college was a one of the best years of my life.  I’d already lived a few different places and learned a bit about the world, but not much.  My world was actually pretty small.  Living in a dorm with girls from all over the country was cool, and going to an all women’s college was really fun.  I definitely think there are benefits – at least at that age.

There were about 25 or so of us in our dorm, and I was one of two girls that was in the habit of attending church every week.  That year held the only time I ever decided to just play hooky and stay home and watch tv.  What a horrible day.  So I learned my lesson – my faith is real, and I lose when I fail to respect it.

One girl was a bully, and found me to be her easy target – and I was.  I had girls like that in my life from the time that I was 5 until the time that I was about 17.  Mom fought the battle once, and got the 3rd grade bully kicked off the bus when I was in kindergarten (she writes letters).  After that, I was on my own.  Being shy made it harder for me to deal with bullies, and even now, I wonder at the marvel that I’ve essentially been bully free [with the exception of my current boss, who kinda fits that category] since I was a teenager.  I’ve never actually been able to do anything about them.

For whatever reason, one of my best friends, my first semester there, never told me she was a lesbian.  She ended up not coming back for 2nd semester, and my roommate filled me in, but I couldn’t believe she hadn’t told me.  I suppose she just never felt comfortable, though I’m not sure why.  There were other girls there who were out.  And I didn’t mind either way.  I feel like I remember that I was one of the few – if not the only – who didn’t know.

the only diff? Andy had more rouge. Really.

the only diff? Andy had more rouge. Really.

This was also the first time I had any kind of experience with Mary Kay.  The powers that were decided that it would be useful for us to have a Mary Kay party.  It’d be fun, and we’d learn more about personal grooming [that is…makeup].  I think at least 50% of us weren’t into it.  And then the consultant took my friend, Andy* – the one who wore ball caps and pny tails all the time – and gave her a “free makeover”.  Quelle horror! When the lady was finished, Andy looked like someone else.  At the time, I didn’t know who, because I hadn’t seen her yet.  Years later, I saw her makeup twin on The Drew Carey Show.  Andy was gracious, and moved slowly out of the room, finally making it upstairs to wash all that stuff off.  Thank God we didn’t have digital photos back then.

There was one girl in our program who was Wiccan, and at that point, I had no idea what that was.  I don’t think many of us actually did.  And she could tell.  So she invited someone to come talk to us about Wicca and what it was about.  It turned into a seminar kind of thing in our auditorium, but it was very interesting.  I remember making a point to go because I wanted to know more – I think a lot of people did.  I don’t remember the name of the woman who came, but I remember she was from the DC area, and had a Wiccan tv show on a public access channel.  The presentation included an interesting slideshow from the days before PowerPoint [how old am I?], and held all of our attention.  We learned about the first rule – do no harm or something like that.  That would be because of the rule of three.  That is, whatever you do comes back to you times three.  And she told us that they do cast spells, but they have to be good because of the rule of three.  And I think I remember her saying something about her coven casting a spell to make the Redskins win…

In the course of her talk she told us about how woman-centered Wicca is, and told us her personal story.  She told us near the beginning of her talk, actually, that she had recently been a man.  This was actually very clear [because of her figure, stance, voice, face, and myriad other signs].  She was married to a lady who was also a priestess in their coven.  Being, apparently, quite dedicated to Wicca, she told us that she aspired to be a high priestess, but was barred from doing so because she was a dude.  So she talked it over with her wife, and they agreed I guess.  She was a high priestess when she came to give the talk.

After the talk, she came back to the dorm basement and read tarot for people who were into it – I wasn’t.  Same place where the Mary Kay lady turned my friend into a clown, actually.

It was a crazy year – I missed my sister terribly, had the best baked potato I ever had, and the best strawberry shortcake, came to fear my Spanish teacher, began to curse like crazy and then had a change of heart, learned that I don’t like whole milk, rocked out to Black or White and Smells Like Teen Spirit, and watched the very first/only real season of The Real World.  Somewhere in the midst of all of that I took some classes, too.

*Name has been changed to protect the girl in the hands of the Mary Kay lady.

historical moments in the shy life [series intro]

Last night I couldn’t get to sleep because…oh yeah – a moth got into my house, made it’s way into my bedroom, and wouldn’t stop fluttering against the wall.  I have a thing about smooshing bugs – I hate doing it.  The gushy-ick makes me gag and shudder and I just plain hate it.  So I either shoo/cajole them out of the house/car or spray them with odorless Raid until they stop moving.

So my plan of attack?  Moths like light, right?  So I turned off the fan and light in the bedroom and turned on the hallway light and the guest bath light.  Once I’d gotten the moth into the hallway, I closed my door, turned off the hallway light, and left the guest bath light on.

A smart moth would’ve taken the hint.

This was a dumb moth.

It decided to crawl back under my bedroom door.

The dumb moth is dead.

Obviously, I couldn’t go to sleep with a moth beating itself against the wall and me thinking about the possibility of it landing on me while I slept [things moving around in my house while I’m asleep freak me out – this is one of many reason why I cannot foresee myself ever having a pet…besides fish].  So while I put my moth-light trick into effect, I was thinking about things…

Like my life.  And my blog.  And then, I suppose one thing led to another, as I stood next to the guest bathroom door in my pjs, holding my can of odorless Raid, and squinting because I’d already taken my contacts out.  I thought – hey – I should do a series on pivotal moments in my life.  I mean – it’s my blog – wouldn’t that be so amazingly interesting?

shy moments

I know I’m thrilled.

professional adjustment

Yesterday at work wasn’t earth-shattering or anything, but we had a few good laughs about it…

ours is even newer than this

ours is even newer than this

We received our new GC/MS about a week ago, and the service engineer came yesterday to set it up for us – that’s usually how these things go.   He’d been corresponding with one of my coworkers, so he was aware of our schedule, and supposed to be meeting us at 8am to begin the installation.

Eight came and went.  At 8:30 my coworker called him and woke him up.  He assured her that he’d come soon.  So we unpacked the instrument, and moved our trade-in out of the way.  And went to break.  And came back.  I suggested that perhaps he had stopped at a breakfast buffet…  Finally he was escorted in around 10am.  He walked in wearing some ratty, yellowed jean shorts and a polo that has definitely seen better days.  I thought it odd, but brushed it off.   I’ve been conditioned since college about the proper attire for a lab.  Pants and closed-toed shoes are a given.  Since he had no idea where the instrument would be located in our lab, he actually took a chance coming in shorts.  Today, we thought about it and posited that maybe his luggage had been lost – although, since he came for just one night, we’d have expected him to just bring an overnight bag carryon.  But then, perhaps there was another reason for the shorts.

Apparently our friend has a set spiel that he gives to all customers when he sets up the instruments.  And it seems that he most often does installations for people who possibly have never seen such an instrument before, and have no clue what it does or how to use it.  I say this because he wasted a great deal of our time with

See, nitrogen and helium are gases at room temperature.  Water, on the other hand, is a liquid at room temp.  And it boils at 150 degrees. *pause*  Oh.  I mean 100 degrees.

and other lovely bons mots.  He later suggested to me that we didn’t have to use methanol as our solvent.  We could use acetone, or any other solvent that our samples would dissolve in.  This is when I started wondering if he could see the instrument we’d just placed on the cart to make room for the new one – or the other one sitting across the room.   I actually can’t imagine anyone who would order one of these instruments who would be unsure of the definition of a solvent.  And I know that I’ve known 3rd graders who know that water is a liquid at room temperature.

cool spectrum - not a solvent we'll use tho

cool spectrum - not a solvent we'll use tho

Before lunch, I’d been setting up our newly cleaned density meter while taking notes on the new GC/MS.  After lunch, I was fully focused on the training, and had the misfortune of sitting directly in front of him as he demonstrated how the software works.  This is when I had to start looking everywhere except directly in front of me.

Why, you ask?

Because, besides sitting across from me with his legs spread far and wide, this fellow was adjusting himself (yes – exactly what you’re thinking) every 5 minutes!  – not an exaggeration –  At least every five minutes, he had to fiddle with things in the frayed shorts.  While it was happening it felt like a visual assault, but once he had gone I began to wonder if he didn’t have some kind of medical condition.  I’m thinking that he needs to get seen – maybe get some kind of cream?  baby powder?  I don’t know.  What I know is that I ended up closing my eyes, staring at the monitor, or staring at the clock until he left.

What the crack?  Who wears frayed shorts to go see clients for their job in a *chemical laboratory*?  and then spends the day adjusting themselves forthefunofit?  Crazy.  Keep taking the meds til they run out, buddy.  Don’t skip a day.

no shortage of handbaskets

Ummmm…have people been taking crazy pills across the country?  Or is this the real Obama effect – he causes most of America to go stark, raving, …you know.

Last year, people were writing songs for him, making signs all over the world, turning his speeches into musical rallying cries.  This year, other people are calling him a racist, fascist, socialist – showing up to protest with loaded semiautomatic weapons.

I’m just not getting it.  He’s just a man.  Trying to be the POTUS.  Vilified and reified by turns, he still seems to be doing better than that last guy.

I don’t really have more to say than everyone else who has commented on this other than the fact that this is starting to scare me.  I’m not clear on the agenda of the rabid Obama opponents, but it seems like they are rabidly against brown people just on g.p.

see what other folks are saying:

@ Racialicious

@ Shakesville

@ The Root

So yeah, there’s some serious race-based crap hitting the fan right now, but let’s not forget that most of it is ostensibly because of the whole healthcare debate:

Getting less, indeed.

So, I know what the destination is – I’m just not sure which handbasket we’re riding in.

facebook rules


first there was...


what's next?

Social networking is an interesting beast, and it continues to evolve.  I know I’ve dipped my toe in many a construct [friendster, opendiary, livejournal, myspace, facebook], but I’ve learned a thing or two, having tried these things for a while.  So here are my rules:

1.  I am not here to meet new people – if I don’t know you, I never will.  This is not to say that I’m opposed to meeting new people in real life.  Or even online.  But there must be a connection between us – we must have already had some conersation – before I will friend you on facebook.  And even then, that’s not a guarantee.

2.  If I know you IRL and you are under 21, we can’t be friends.  Pretty much ever.  I have made special exceptions for a couple people due to needing to keep up with one, and the other needing an adult female role model/support person.  Otherwise, chickadees, you have been/will be relegated to facebook limbo.

3.  If I know you IRL and you are the age of my parents, we can’t be friends.  Period.  This is because we are *not* friends.  At some point, there may be exceptions made for coworkers.  As of yet, there has been no need, as my older coworkers are not on facebook.

4.  If we weren’t friends then, we’re not friends now. When I was a kid, there were some kids who were mean to me.  I’m not special – this happens to everyone.  But I wasn’t friends with those mean kids.  So why would I be now?

The rules are simple, and I don’t believe them to be harsh.  They serve the purpose of allowing me to continue to be myself without self-censoring due to sensitive old people/minors/people who I know have something other than my best interest at heart.

Facebook has been an awesome tool to allow me to get back in touch with people as far back as elementary school, as well as a huge time suck since I’ve become embroiled in a few games such as Bejeweled Blitz and WordTwist.  But sometimes it’s just nice to look at pictures of all my friends’ babies, too.

Right now I’ve got 12 people in limbo.  I haven’t got the heart to simply ignore them, so there they sit – some for at least a year.  But I’m ok with that.

SYTYCD: season 5 – last chance

I cannot even believe we’ve been through this season with not real breakout stars.  Here are the top 4:

top 4The Kodak Theater is packed with 3000 fans for the finale of this competition.  This is bigger than other years – even though the dancers aren’t near my fave from past years.

But Wade Robson’s idea for their top 4 dance looks cool though.  I love cheerleaders.  Love watching cheerleading.  And this is probably my fave look for Jeanine.  Nice piece, even though I’m not into Lady Gaga at all…

Jeanine and Evan work with Sonya and get a pretty high energy piece that I’m not really into.  This piece totally spotlights for me that I’m not really into either one of these dancers.  I’ve been on the fence with Jeanine all season really – and I’m still not sold on her.  Evan is fun to watch in solos and in his genre, but I wasn’t so much into this.  Nigel is right that they’ve got to live up to this stage.

I so much miss Janette.  Brandon is really a great dancer, and he’s super-strong.  And I could see him winning…but I have no idea.  This year’s a complete toss-up for me.  As for his solo: it was strong, but suffered from an extremely poor choice in music.  Wooo – stinky music.  I agree with Adam that it felt a lil bit frantic.  (In non sequitur news, I’d really like to see the rest of Mary’s dress, cuz I think it might be really pretty.)  I feel that his solo last week was actually better, but wev.

Now it’s Brandon and Kayla with TyceD and Bye Bye Love from ‘All That Jazz’.  I love Tyce and I love Broadway – I’m hoping for good things.  And I noticed that Kayla’s legs definitely get higher than Brandon’s…so I’m thinking it’s possible that a girl could win.  Funnily enough, Adam didn’t see Jeanine or Evan in the finale at all – but everyone saw Brandon and Kayla in the finale from week 1.  Well, well.  High praise for Evan and Jeanine, through-the-roof praise for Kayla and Brandon.  Not surprising who the judges want to win.

Ooooh…I forgot how hot that dance was with Jason.  He was really great!  Miss him, too.  But you know what?  Jeanine needs help with her solos.  She’s only had one this summer that I actually wanted to keep going.  I agree with Adam that her pirouettes were awesome, but the rest…not enough.  Nigel shocked me with the comment about top 2 – we haven’t even seen the other two solos yet.

Now Laurieann Gibson gets to choreograph the two guys in a pop-jazz number.  I love how she uses what’s actually going on in the dancers lives for the inspiration.  And I LOVE that she is using Nasty for this piece.  Janet’s music is SO danceable.  Even if it’s old – it should get used more, I think.  But wow – Evan got outdanced from the very first moment on this one.  In fact, it’s not until the very last moments that I’m even drawn to look at him on the stage.  This piece did *NOT* play to his strengths, and he just couldn’t raise his game.  He’s obviously outmatched in Brandon, and I might have almost rathered to have seen them do a Broadway number together, to see if Brandon could live up to Evan’s style.  Is Mary high?  “What’s the nastiest thing you’ve ever done?”  Evan began his answer with “That’s a toughie..”  If you say the word ‘toughie’, you don’t do ‘nasty’.

Kayla and Jeanine work with Mia Michaels for a contemporary journey of shedded encumbrances.  It was beautiful.  Both girls were great – there was no standout.  Noone was outperformed, and they were completely in sync.  Brilliantly done, really.  These girls are very well matched.  Nigel’s a tad creepy sometimes.  But I can’t see a frontrunner between these two – not from this dance anyway.

Evan’s interview reminded me that I actually liked his brother more than I liked him.  I still can’t believe he’s in the top 4!  He definitely does entertaining solos – and this one is no exception.  I just wanted it to keep going.  And I think that’s part of the deal with solos – I think we *should* want the solos to continue.  If it’s ugly, or repetitive – if the music stinks – blech.  I understand and agree with the comments about the strength of his dancing – the growth of him as a dancer – he’s NOT the best, NOT the strongest.  But he does good solos.  And who knows – maybe he wanted to take it easy before his dance with Kayla.

So Tony and Melanie are working with Kayla and Evan on the jive, and i think I’m seeing a method in Evan’s madness.  T.R.O.U.B.L.E. is a big number for them.  Very fun.  And I think Evan was definitely there for Kayla throughout that piece.  I thought his kicks were great, but the arms definitely could’ve been better.  Evan’s gotten trashed by Mary on this piece, but Nigel pulls it back by commenting on the personality – for both of them.  And really, each of them did well on this, but not as good as they should have.

Kayla’s grandparents are so cute.  The addiction piece was definitely awesome.  I love Kayla’s lines, but I dunno.  And the solo is more of the same, blah.  There was no heart for me – no personality.  I don’t get anything from her.  But that’s just me.

Louis van Amstel does a paso doble for Brandon and Jeanine.  And that is positively the B E S T paso doble I have ever seen.  Ever ever.  EVER.  They *killed* this.  The routine was on it, the choreo unbelievable, and I truly don’t believe that Kayla could have carried this piece the way Jeanine did.  And Nigel is really freakin’ me out, now.  I think he’s officially crossed the line into dirty-old-man category.

Jeanine and Brandon deserve the top two spots.  Kayla was close, but she just doesn’t cut it for me.  And Evan is tired.  He hasn’t been able to grow outside his genre and while sad, that is the truth.  From Nigel’s mouth to our ears: the winner = Brandon or Jeanine.

*fingers crossed*