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sometimes, i silently scream

The first time I ever saw The Color Purple I was about 9 years old.  it may be possible for a 9 year old to understand this movie – but I sure didn’t.  I just remember being very disturbed by the movie.  I’ve seen bits and pieces since then, but never the whole thing.

Finally, I have seen the whole thing – and finally understand it.

What a movie.  [I know I’m all late, but whatever]

But you know, sometimes, some scenes, in some movies…they strike a nerve.  And the anger comes bubbling up to the surface for a moment.  I’m thinking specifically of the part when Sofia responded to the mayor’s wife when she asked if she wanted to come work for her – and the aftermath.  Those few minutes were hard to get through for me.

I don’t think it would be so hard if there wasn’t a similar feeling present in today’s world.  If we really were so far removed from the way things were back then – if there wasn’t this undercurrent that carries the same ideas without speaking the same words.  And so I am angry.  Because I still get the same message in looks, comments, subtleties – at work, in the grocery store, at church

This is why my dad can’t watch movies like Rosewood, etc.  This is why my uncle spent a good part of his life hating white people.

I can’t imagine living through the things that my dad and his family lived through.  And the kind of paradigm shift that’s required, to go from raising your kids to stay alive to raising your kids to achieve great things.

And so I let loose another silent scream as I continue on this journey of being me.  It’s the only way to let the stress out without causing more problems…

And yet, my familiarity with some of the lines, allowed me to be a lot less serious when I finally got to the part where Sofia says “…I’ll kill him dead…”


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