Maybe I’ve said this before, but when I was in the 6th grade, there were these popular girls who considered themselves to be *the awesomeness*. I wasn’t part of that group, but I didn’t really care. I’d never been part of that group, no matter what school I went to…except for maybe kindergarten. But anyway, one of the girls had a birthday party and invited all the popular girls, and all the 1st rung peripheral girls, except one or two.
The party took place and all the uninvited were blissfully unaware until somebody spilled the beans. I don’t remember who, I don’t think I actually ever knew. But somehow, everyone who cared found out. And got their feelings hurt. So-called friend turned against so-called friend, and the 6th grade wars began.
All of this had taken place without the rest of the class [the dudes and the very, very peripheral girls: new kids, band geeks, well – that was pretty much it] even knowing any of this was going on. But our teacher caught the vibe and took note. When the hostilities started disrupting class [as in: notes passing about so-and-so, treacherous looks, staring, general to complete inattention to class] Mrs. V finally said something. By then, the rest of us had a clue, but figured it was no big deal.
And really, which part of this entire scenario has seemed like a big deal?
So Mrs. V decides she’s not going to get any learning into these wayward children until they work out their differences and reunite as the dysfunctional family that they had previously been. She allows them to leave our social studies class and go work on their *own* community building, right outside the classroom door.
As luck would have it, I had to go to the bathroom during the festivities. For real. (Seriously!) Though I couldn’t help being interested in what could possible be keeping these girls out of class for so long. So when I walked out of the classroom, I found that I had to step over some of the girls becuase they were sitting in the hallway, directly in front of the classroom door. [This was private school, hallways weren’t that wide.] They stopped talking when I came out, and I said excuse me and kept going.
When I came back, several of the girls were crying. Some of them were hugging. And I’d heard a bit of what was going on – “I thought we were friends!”, “We are friends!”, etc. I thought they’d worked it all out.
They remained outside of class for about 45 minutes. When they returned, everything was all better.
From this experience comes my hypothesis about the 6th grade:
There are many people [in my experience it has very often been women, but I have also encountered men who fall into this pattern of behaviour] who treat friendship as some sort of novelty. They often delight in having drama in their lives, and prefer to create the drama, if possible. Loyalty is not a high priority for these people, neither is honesty. Most likely, your first warning about your dubious position as their friend will be related to one of those traits. Thankfully, these people tend not to be able to fool anyone most people for very long, and their disloyalty/dishonesty becomes apparent rather quickly.
The first warning means it’s time to get out. Divest, do not give them sensitive information, as this is currency for a 6th grader. Should you stay in the relationship, you will most likely be harder hit next time. There were girls in my class that had stabbed each other in the back and remained…friends(?). They accepted that the relationship would never have trust. If this is what you’re looking for, stick around. Otherwise, run for –
Oh I can’t say it. I’m reminded of all this by the Hills. The strange relationships between Audrina, LC, Lo, Stephanie, and Heidi just take me back to 6th grade. Watching the show is like being able to eavesdrop on that hallway meeting back in school. So when LC and Audrina cried and hugged and said they wanted to be friends again, I had déjà vu.
To me, it was silly to watch those girls sit out in the hall, working out their personal issues, as we were doing our actua school work. Now, I don’t really mind 6th grade shenanigans. As long as the culprit is still in the 6th grade.