Home » feminism » makes me wanna holler (throw up my hands)

makes me wanna holler (throw up my hands)

In reading the threepart series on skeevy oldheads running behind young girls, I found myself confronting some of the incidents of my own early teenhood.  There were several times old dudes [at least in their twenties, if not older] made inappropriate comments to me [when I was 14/15 years old].  I became used to a coping mechanism that is very common – refraining from making a big deal or being adamant against this treatment in order to keep from making the offender angry [and possibly more aggressive].

As I got older, different moments of uncomfortable happened…certain men at church wanted hugs every time they saw me [even though we didn’t really know each other that well (or even at all, really)], a guy visiting the house made comments about my bedroom that kinda gave me the willies…And then I got my first job, and looking back, I’ve realized that I was sexually harassed by people I considered to be my friends.  People I’d still consider ‘friends’ … life is stickier than you might think sometimes.  [Maybe it’s unthinkable for some for me to even consider still being friends with people who made inappropriate comments around me.  But I can’t write it off completely, as I don’t believe they had a real intention of hurting me or necessarily making me feel uncomfortable…(though even as I type that, I know that they had to know how uncomfortable I was with some of those comments.)  Perhaps it’s part of my own dysfunction for even still being interested in being friends with those guys. whatever – this is not my point.]

Talking about old dudes with young girls, someone provided a link to an article that I at first thought wasn’t real:

 When Alison Garcia, 16, announced that she was leaving home to be with her 36-year-old lover, her parents could have been forgiven for hitting the roof.  Instead, Sheila and Paul Garcia did something most other parents would find unthinkable.
Last month, they invited divorced double-glazing fitter and father-of-one Craig Wright into their home, where he now shares a bedroom with their daughter.
According to 51-year-old Sheila, of Northfleet, Kent, who runs a yachting business with her 56-year-old husband, they had no choice in the matter.

Yeah.  A real article.  A real family in England.  The article goes on and on.  Sounds like the 16-yr-old daughter is running the family ~

…I know she is 16 and I can’t stop her. If I don’t take the softer approach I fear she will take off with Craig and cut ties with us.  If I forbid it or attempt to ban her from seeing him, I risk losing my precious child.


Unsurprisingly, Alison is adamant that she knows best. Having got her own way with her parents, she is already dreaming of marriage and babies with her boyfriend of four months, despite being a drama student and also harbouring ambitions to travel the world as an actress.

Alison claims to be “very mature for my age” – something she says her lover told her not long after they met last October.  “I’m not stupid,” she says stubbornly. “I know to the outside world such a huge age difference must seem weird and unnatural. …

Weird and unnatural? Nah.  Nasty and disturbing?  That’s more like it.

Now, sure, there’s the possibility that they’ll stay together for the rest of their lives and profess unparalleled bliss for the rest of their days.  I’m not banking on the probability of that, though.  Number 1 (and this is always my number 1 in sitch’s such as this) – what can a 36 yr old man possibly have in common with a 16 yr old girl?  Shouldn’t he be in a completely different place in his life?  shouldn’t his goals and ideas and desires be rightfully, drastically different from those of a 16 yr old?  So, besides sex – what is the draw?  Number 2 – isn’t freaking Number 1 e-freaking-nough?  [what do you want – it’s late.  I’m tired.]

And the parents of this ‘headstrong’ girl just feel that she should make her own mistakes – since *society* has told her that she can do whatever the hell she wants, her parents feel there’s nothing they can do.

Now, of course – there’re fifteen different issues going on here: a geezer hitting on a teen, parents abdicating responsibility, the newspaper purposefully using language to give us the impression of a truly immature girl… We don’t really know any of the people involved in this story, but I can’t imagine this being a good scenario.  And frankly, my opinion is that these parents made some grave errors, and this 36-yr-old is a perv who needs to go back to his house. Alone.

The article even states: “Of course, having discovered she was only 16, most men would have walked away. Instead, the relationship became sexual a few days later.”  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!  [running around the house in a Macaulay-esque meltdown]

There’s nothing to be done in this particular situation, I don’t suppose.  But working to equip young girls here in America to fend off the lechers that come out of the woodwork as they hit puberty is a good start.  Talking to your ‘old dude’ friends that tend to lech it up around 15 yr olds would also help.  But hey…I’ll even invoke the new terror watchphrase [basically, that’s what it is: terrorizing girls] from NYC – “If you see something – SAY something.”


One thought on “makes me wanna holler (throw up my hands)

  1. I would very much like to email you and start a private discussion on the subject. Not because I don’t want my thoughts out in public, but this is kind of a loaded topic and I am interested in your answers to some questions I have, so please let me know if you are interested by emailing me. Thanks!

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