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Who will it be?

When I’m not stressed – which is most of the time – I can get some serious relaxation going at any given moment. This translates to a very laid-back outlook on just about everything – even when I seriously care.

So I’m trying to decide: lady or man? black or white? who’s my pick for president? Dennis Kucinich was my pick, but it’s like – he’s SO not viable. When you have to settle for someone [as is normally the case] who do you go for?

I’ve read some articles that suggest many blacks view Obama as the second coming of the King. Most feminists are on board with Hill. I’m not an Edwards superfan, so I’m left between Clinton and Obama. Living in SC, now, I’ve actually got a primary to be going to in a couple weeks – and it seems that by the end of the month, there may be a clear front-runner for the Democrats.

I don’t really feel like any of our top choices would be bad, though, and I’m way more excited to be voting this year than I was in ’04. [which is sad – cuz I really wanted to get Bush out, but Kerry was just not a man with any charisma. I don’t think he really inspired people to get out and vote (even as much as Gore). of course, there were also Republican shenanigans in the area of voter suppression…so, there was a lot going on.] But I think the thing that really has me going this year is the fact that I really believe – either way the nomination goes, we’ll be making history. It’s exciting.

My parents always told me that I could be anything I wanted to be – up to and including POTUS. And I firmly believed that. And now, 25 years after I told that very thing to an obnoxious boy in my kindergarten class, either a woman or a mixed guy is gonna get the nomination. ::crossing fingers:: How can it not feel like I win too?

I guess, if you’re a white dude, this isn’t even blip on the radar. Sometimes I wonder what it must be like…cuz I can’t even imagine it. Even when I was younger, and generally thought of myself as race-neutral, the cognizance of being female and the realization that others would categorize everything I did or said at least partly based on the fact that I am a girl was very strong.

As feminist as my parents tried raise me, by the time I was 9, I was pretending not to know things that I actually knew, when I was talking to boys. After I started college, I think I pretended more situationally – throughout my teen years. Still more to guys than girls. And these days, every once in a while I still catch myself downplaying things that I actually know. But then, I’ve been ostracized for being smart – separate from my race or gender – so, it’s somewhat understandable that I’d try to blend in in that way.

Funny how things go:
The first election I really followed was Bill’s first run – ’92. We discussed candidates in one of my classes.
The first person I voted for – Bill – second run – ’96. That was a great feeling.
And this year, is the first time I get to vote for a woman – Hill.

Who can track the trajectory of a career? When Hillary was championing UniversalHealthcare in Clinton I, did anyone think she’d be back for the presidency in ’08?

Meanwhile, I’m uneasy and unnerved by the fact that we feel so comfortable calling out Obama’s maybe-not-blackness. I don’t know why I have such a strong sense of not calling people out in front of company, but there it is. In a crown of black people, sure, we can discuss it, but with everybody watching? I want that united front thing going on. That, and the fact that I get the impression that it matters less to white people just exactly where he’s from – his skin is brown, so he’s black.

The ‘bootstrap’ ideal thing is what sticks a bit, tho, for me. That tends to be a lot easier said than done. And it leans a lil too close to Cosby and Oprah’s sometime soapbox. To quote my sister: “there is only ONE Oprah”.

I’ll keep working it out though…fairly happy with my choices, as choices go – perhaps my naivete, but I believe they really want to change things.


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